Impending Doom

Things I can never escape, taxes, death and visits from my parents.

I am an only child and a girl, a deadly combo when it comes to parenting. I am my parent’s hobby. There are two major holidays in my family Christmas and my birthday. In all my years there has only been one missed Christmas (really it was delayed by two months) and one missed birthday (my dad wasn’t speaking to me, long story).

Like clockwork, in August they will ask about when they should come up for my birthday, in October. I’ve managed to get their visit to be two weeks after, or maybe a week before, but only in the last few years. Last year it had to be three weeks after my birthday and they did not like that at all.

So, it is that time again, the visit. I have to clean like a mad person because they are the cleanest, neatest most organized people you will ever know (I've got many who will testify to this fact). They say it doesn’t matter if my place is dust free and perfectly organized, but that isn’t really true. Comments will be made and hints will be dropped.

It drives them crazy that my sheets don’t match and that I don’t use a top sheet. As far as I am concerned my duvet cover is good enough, it can be washed easily and protects the comforter from unnecessary dirt. I also hate my feet being confined at the foot of the bed, so, no top sheet. They also think it is endlessly hilarious that by morning me, my comforter and blanks resemble what they call a “nest”. What ever, I am warm and cozy.

One time when I had just moved and hadn’t unpacked the “extra” linens yet and only had a couple fitted sheets and pillow cases unpacked they were so distressed that there would be no top sheet that they bought me a new set. I wont look a gift horse in the mouth so after a couple attempts of saying it wasn’t necessary I let them buy the sheets. Sadly, as I sit here tonight cleaning and organizing I’ll be damned if I can’t find a set of sheets that both match and are clean. So, they will get a top sheet, but it will be purple and the fitted sheet will be green. Oh well, they will survive, but I guarantee you that there will mention either of my “ridiculous” and “strange” sleeping choices or someone will ask “didn't we buy you a set of sheets a couple years ago?”

Their visits at best make me nervous and at worst give me anxiety attacks. Let the fun begin...in twelve hours!

My break is over and now I must continue cleaning, up next, the bedroom. This is when I start to wish (for a few minutes) that I didn’t collect so many trinkets, but then I look at them and think how cute they are and all is well with the world.