Golden Globes: 8.46 - 10.08 PM

Okay, so now we are being told that Prince was stuck in traffic. Whatever. My opinion still stands.

Poor Drew Barrymore, I think she really is that ditzy.

Aw, how cute is America Ferrera. And she is making dozens of women in the audience cry, AWWW and she just thanked her “Mommy”, she’s sweet.

Tom Hanks, looking a little better without the Da Vinci Code hair, which I liked to call “Molester Hair” because it made him look like a creepy child molester.

During the send up to Warren Beatty by Tom Hanks I got a snack (which involved microwaving, just to show you how long it took), started eating the snack and I am now almost done, and although Hanks is done and the clips are done, Warren is still going on and sounding more and more like a crazy has-ben and I think he might be embarrassing his wife (Annette Bening) because she looks a little uncomfortable. For the love of god, I think Warren just embarrassed himself more than they whole of Ishtar and Bulworth rap put together, he just did a Borat line AND in a Borat voice, and it didn’t get a single laugh. I just thank God they didn’t pan to Sacha Baron Cohen.

Holy crap, have you seen this new Orville Redenbacher commercial WITH “Orville” in it? This is creepy because Orville DIED years ago. I think it is mostly make up on some guy to make him look like Orvill, and maybe a little digital touch-up but it is some scary shit.

Dustin Hoffman is up tripping on himself and making Ishtar jokes. Need I say more?

Oh for fucks sake, enough of Clint Eastwood.

Wow, Marty Scorsese is really short, I didn’t realize how short, or maybe Leonardo Di Caprio is much taller than I thought. For the record, Marty is 5’ 4” and Leo is 5’ 11”, not as far apart as I thought, maybe Leo had tall shoes on.

Yikes, Reese, seriously, canary yellow satin with red shoes AND really straight hair? Not your best look.

Oh FUCK, Sacha won! Damn. Let’s see if he does this in character. He is fucking tall. Just a touch of Borat, otherwise all Sacha, crude and funny, but Sacha. Good for him. I love how they are doing tons of audience shots so we can see how hard everyone is laughing. Forest Whitaker is cracking up, so is Mark Wahlberg, man, Forest really thinks this is funny.

Dane Cook, one word, over-rated.

Mark Anthony, one word, skeletor .

Clint Eastwood can learn something from Britney Spears, chewing gum on camera like a cow makes you look trashy at best.

People at the end of the night really get shafted, the winners at the beginning seem to get a lot more slack time before they get the “exit music” while the poor suckers at the end of the night when the show is running late seem to barely get ten words out before they get the sound of music.

Oh good, Grey’s Anatomy won, I love this crazy guilty pleasure, it is so good and so sappy and so trendy and so much fun! I really do look forward to every show. And I love love love Sandra Oh.

Phillip Seymour Hoffman, you sir are a very good actor, but you do not clean-up good, you always look like you just got done huffing paint as you did in Love Liza (which by the way I did not love ‘cause it totally sucked).

Helen has won again; she really does look lovely with her steel grey hair, aging very well and very gracefully. Please, young ladies of Hollywood, take note of this brilliant woman and her class, it would do you well.

You okay Forest? Um, I’m a little worried you are gonna pass out or something. Okay, no, you are just trying to contain your tears, that’s cute, a man that can kick your ass and cry, who can’t love that? But now I do feel really bad I didn’t get to see The Last King of Scotland, ‘cause it looked amazing.

Arnold you suck. We can’t understand you, I only figured out Babel won when the cameras went to the Brad Pitt table. Angie is still hot, in case you were wondering.

I think when Jeremy Irons looks into the camera he is looking straight into my eyes and stealing my soul.

That’s all for this year, nothing shocking, nothing too horrendous, pretty run of the mill and it did finish almost on time (10.08 PM).

See you in February for the Oscars.