Ride the Pig

Oh my. I know this shouldn’t make me giggle, but it does. I’m sorry, I lied, I’m going to hell, this made me laugh really hard, not just giggle. My disclaimer (or excuse) is that I got up at 5am (Chicago time, with only four hours of sleep), drove eight hours and haven’t been to bed yet (it is 11pm).

KATY, Texas (AP) -- A man unhappy with an Islamic association's plans to build a mosque next to his property has staged pig races as a protest during afternoon prayers.

Craig Baker, 46, sold merchandise and grilled sausages Friday for about 100 people who showed up in heavy rain. He insisted he wasn't trying to offend anyone with the pigs, which are forbidden from the Muslim diet.

"I am just defending my rights and my property," Baker said. "They totally disrespected me and my family."

Muslims don't hate pigs, they just don't eat them, said engineer Kamel Fotouh, president of the 500-member Katy Islamic Association in this Houston suburb.

"I don't care if he races, roasts or slaughters pigs," said Yousef Allam, a spokesman for the group.

The dispute began when the association asked Baker to remove his cattle from its newly bought land. The association plans to build a mosque, community center, athletic facilities and a school.

Baker agreed to move his cattle but thought the Muslims also wanted him off the land his family has lived on for more than 100 years.

Earlier this month, Baker conceded that the Muslims probably aren't after his land, but he said he had to go through with the pig races because "I would be like a total idiot if I didn't. I'd be the laughingstock now because I've gone too far."

All the same, Baker plans to continue the weekly pig races until interest dwindles.

The association never meant to imply it wanted Baker to move, Allam said.

"If we somehow communicated that to him, then we apologize," he said.

Resident Susan Canavespe said the pig racing wasn't mean-spirited -- "It's just Texas-spirited."

To be clear I am laughing at the Texan guy, not the Katy Islamic Association; and I am laughing for many reasons. To start, he thought that pig races would offend them (I don’t care what he said to the press, you know that is what he thought), that he admits that they don't want him off of his land, just off their land and of course because he said “Texas-spirited”.

I am also hoping that the pigs have little dolls on their backs dressed like jockeys, or perhaps that pigs are maybe wearing little pants, or a vest.