Swayze Eyes*

I've never been a fan of Patrick Swayze, sure I like Dirty Dancing just as much as the next person, although mostly for camp value and the hilarity of Mr. Swayze's "acting" as Johnny Castle. Seriously, who doesn't love saying "Nobody puts Baby in a corner"?

On a side note, doesn't the guy who played Mr. Kellerman's nephew Neil (the slimy know it all who they tried to get Baby hooked up with) remind you of David Sedaris? David is on the right.

Anyway, back to my point. Mr. Swayze was good in two things (in my mind) Dirty Dancing, because he played an uneducated street guy who could dance and the Chippendale's skit on Saturday Night Live with Chris Farley. Again, he played a dancer who was kind of dim and we all know that in real life Patrick was in fact a dancer first (as is his wife).

However, no matter how much I think he sucks as an actor no one deserves to be treated so poorly especially when it comes to such a personal issues as health. Therefore I don't think it was right for the tabloids (The Enquier first, then The Sun) to plaster the headline "Swayze Has Five Weeks To Live" everywhere.

The man has cancer and no one wishes that upon anyone and no matter what his prognosis is he deserves to deal with this in private, it is cancer for christ sake that is never good, five weeks or five years, it is all bad. His mom has made a statement as has his doctor saying it is true but not as bad as the tabloids said. Which probably means it is all true.

Until last night I felt really bad for him, the guy has found out he's probably going to die and then the world is chattering about how he is on his death bed with days to live.

I still for bad for him now, but I read something last night, that if true just makes me furious. I read that he was diagnosed in January and has been getting treatment BUT has yet to quit SMOKING. A third of all pancreas cancers can be attributed to smoking. So why the hell would you continue a sometimes THREE pack a day habit? I know, I know, it is an addiction but come on! You have CANCER which is proven to be caused SMOKING so QUIT or at least try. Now I feel bad for his family and friends, who are probably all thinking the same thing.

Also, I read that the weird plane crash he had a few years back was found to be caused by the tar build-up on his planes instruments in the cabin where he chain-smoked. Scary. How much smoke does it take to jam instruments that are embedded in a dashboard?

I still wish him well in his treatment but hope the reports are just bunk and that he is or has quit smoking.

* I know it isn't a joke if you have to explain it but that is exactly what I am going to to do. So there. I've worked two jokes into the title, granted they are inside jokes with myself.

1st we have a reference to Hungry Eyes which is of course from Dirty Dancing, that seems pretty obvious.

2nd The Mighty Boosh have an ongoing joke about Howard's (A.K.A Julian's) eyes being very small for his face and one of the many comments has Old Gregg saying "oh, I saw your poster, your tiny Patrick Swayze eyes, you have those crazy Swayze eyes and I knew I had to come find ya".

Oh god, you have no idea how hard I am laughing right now. Humor me people, I know I sound crazy. Here is a picture of Howard Moon.