Oscar IV

I cannot believe this, Brokeback was NOT a good soundtrack. It was an okay tune for about 2 minutes, but it was only about 2 min! And then they played it for three hours, over and over and over.

Jessica Alba--I 'm not sure how much you pay your agent, but, to get you to present here must have cost him a lot of favors. I'm sure you think presenting will get you near the realm legit, but you are so far away...so very far. By the way, what color is that? "JLo Kissed Peach"? or just "Burnt Charlize? One more thing, eat a sandwich, it wont kill ya. Evandebacle says “I would like to take this second to nominate Jessica Alba for the Penelope Cruz "Special" Oscar” I believe he is right in this nomination.

I'm such a sucker; I'm totally getting into this clip montage of special effects.

Excellent, Jon just made the best joke about all the montages, way to go Jon!

I haven’t listened to a word that Lily Tomlin or Meryl Streep have said…when are they going to stop? It is like they are speaking another language.

Yay! Popeye, for Robert Altman's special Oscar there was another montage (of course) and they showed a Popeye clip. I was mentioning Popeye earlier to Evandebacle when discussing Punch Drunk Love which I loved and loved partly because they had a Popeye song (He’s Large) in the film and how much I loved Popeye, who would have thought that I would actually see clip of it later in the night, amazing.

Okay Mr. Altman, it is time to go. Even if you did get a heart transplant and are old, you have still talked too much.

Do you know how you can tell if the weird M. Knight Shyamalan
commercial is a commercial? Because no one would say “I loved it in The Village when…”

I see Ludacris and I think bad computer generated ludacris baby video that scared the bejesus out of me. Yay! More talk about pimps at the Oscars, and more swearing. Yes please, thank you! So true, so true, it is hard out there for a pimp. I couldn’t have said it better myself.

There has been a serious lack of appalling attire and for that matter a serious lack of awesome ones…just a few nice ones, and few weird ones, but nothing that is 100% amazing or 100% ridiculous freak, and I haven't seen any of my favorite faux pas, seriously ill fitting garments.

Nice going Oscars, way to put all the rappers together, thank god they put Queen Latifah after the pimp song and Ludacris, I don’t think I could take the street atmosphere smattered across the night, I need it in one big hit, like a big pill

Man, Dolly just got robbed. Although she seemed pleased for the pimps. There just isn’t enough swearing on the Oscars.

Jew joke #3

I have no idea why for every fifth person shown in the audience they have to show either Jack Nicholson or Steven Spielberg.

OH! so close, Jennifer Garner just about fell on her ass, she saved it at the last minute, I think it was the bounce of her post-pregnancy breasts combined with her (probably) new slippery heals and really long dress that caused the slip.
Second thanks of the night to Andy Serkis, yet he cannot be nominated for anything, sad for him.

And now the every popular “In Memorium”..Yay!Mr. Miyagi…Vincent Schiavelli, Mr. Furley will be last I bet…yay!…they ended on Richard Pryor? I like him just as much as the next guy, but...where the hell was the The Incredible Mr. Limpet? I guess maybe he died past the deadline.

Will Smith you are not funny, your best work was The Fresh Prince of Belle Air. Your “aw hell no!” comments are now tired and old and you cannot continue to milk them into 2007. P.S. Jada should not have a music career, let alone a “rock” career, at least if she was doing lame R&B I could ignore it.

This guys voice is amazing, the director of Tsotsi...but his hair seemed to be alive.

There is not a room big enough to hold all the hate I have for Hilary Swank.

Yawn, Jamie Foxx…Damn? Did he just dis Charlize and her “south African American” description? Ouch.

Who do you think would win in a fight between Charlize and Keira? I’m just not sure.

Ryan Phillippe, you are worthless baggage. You know that soon you too with be just like Nick Lachey, and by that I mean, asking for spousal support.

Diana Ossana, your bosom is scary and you should have worn a wrap over those shoulders, you should get closer to the mic and not bend over from three feet away. Also, try to sound a little excited and not so tired.













Oh look, Uma is in the running for Ms. Overly Tan 2006 as well. The raccoon eyes and white blonde hair help accentuate her brown tint.

Mr. Hanks, I’m sure they could have made you a wig, you didn’t really have to grow your hair to be all creepy like a child molester, and, aren’t you done filming Da Vinci? I think you are, so cut your hair; please I’m sure Rita hates it too.

Oh no. Mr. Lee, why, why did you just say, “I wish I knew how to quit you”. I was gonna say he had replaced Cameron with the “I’m King of the World” thing, but then Evandebacle reminded me that he gets a break because of the ESL thing. Okay, I want to support the Asians. Yay! Ang Lee.

Yawn. Yawn. Yawn.