Oscar: Part One

Nicole Kidman, did you learn nothing from Charlize Theron and her giant bow on the shoulder from last year? They never flatter, never. (Theron in 2006 below)



























Are you kidding me? They just did a little think about how Andre Leon Tally took Jennifer Hudson to Oscar de la Renta to get that hideous dress, ick. Woman! Get your hands out of your pockets!

Okay, I still don’t like Penelope and I still don’t think she is pretty but her dress is very nice, reminds me of something Nicole Kidman would wear and she should have because she didn’t make a good choice tonight.

Cameron Diaz, I wont even waste space on you.

Let’s give a big shout out for “The Three Amigos” (and I don’t mean the one’s that were in-famous and fought El Guapo or the shot the singing bush) but rather the three directors really hitting it big this year. Guillermo del Toro, Alfonso Cuarón and Alejandro González Iñárritu. For my money some of the best movies lately.

Kate Winslet, always classy and beautiful. I would have chosen a darker green for her in an idea world but it is bad and the shape etc is lovely on her.

Helen Mirren, Lacroix, sweetie, Lacroix. Fantastic.

The very Apple like quick cut interview montage piece was actually pretty good. Funny, cute and entertaining.

Okay Ellen, knock our socks off with funny. Your suit is nice, I wouldn’t have worn white shoes, but you look nice.

Peter O’Toole! I want you to win, I am so torn, Forest Whitiker is amazing in The Last King of Scotland, but I really worry you (Mr. O’Toole) wont get another chance (knock on wood) to win and you already got your “Life Time” Oscar but that just isn’t the same.

Cripes! Jack Nicholson has shaved his head.

Abigail Breslin, you’re cute, I like you, I loved Little Miss Sunshine but that dress makes you look like an Easter Basket.

Oh Thank God! Jennifer Hudson took that damn ugly jacket off.

Djimon Hounsou, you are a handsome handsome man.

Ellen is doing pretty well, a couple of good zingers but nothing that is bombing.

If Pan's Labyrinth doesn’t win for Art Direction I will be pissed. Yay!! We are off to a fantastic start, Pan's Labyrinth has won. I am very happy.

FYI, in case some of you hadn’t heard, in an attempt to keep viewers throughout the night they have chosen to break with tradition and not start the evening with the Best Supporting actor/actress.

And we have arrived at our first goofy song/dance thing; I think the answer to my question earlier (about the strange dancers) has been answered. Behind a screen, backlit are dancer/tumblers doing a kind of Cirque du Soleil thingie that transforms into a silhouette of Oscar. Eh, kind of lame and all just as filler as we fade to commercial.

Will Ferrell, work that hair, that is one HUGE ‘fro. I know it is kind of lame, but this song that Jack Black and Will are doing is hilarious. Poor Peter O’Toole looked so confused when Jack Black said he’d beat him “down with his Nickelodeon award” Oh crap, now John C. Riley has joined in…so funny.

Man, Helen Mirren is getting lots of props, even by the funny guys.

That segway (or rather non) into Best Make-up was funny as well. Geez, Pan needs to win this as well. Double Yay! Pan is so gonna kick ass tonight.

Poor kids, they are making Abigail and Will Smith’s kid present the Animated Short. Will Smith’s kid is kind of annoying and can’t read the cue cards. Thank god for Abigail, she saved them.

James McAvoy is presenting, he was really good in Last King of Scotland and he is Scotish. Damn I love Scotish guys. That accent gets me every time.

A speech read from notes is never, I repeat, never good. Please risk forgetting someone, and go from memory.