Red Carpet

Okay, I am ready to go!

I’ve got a huge Pepsi and plate of chocolate chip cookies, let the red carpet begin!

They are starting with a review of what you can do to avoid being a “fashion don’t” on the red carpet. Randolph Duke could use a little help himself, what is with the slick back hair and 5 o’clock shadow on the red carpet?

Red carpet interview

Sally Kirkland! Oh My God. It has started off with a showstopper. Dear lord I can’t even describe what she is wearing but I guarantee you it will be talked about tomorrow and I’ll have no problem getting a photo of it. Also, she is bat-shit crazy; she is falling her arms around and not making any sense talking about her dresses inspiration, the designer and some other shit. The interviewers actually turned their back after a while trying to get away. Poor thing.


Man, that Jennifer Lopez loves that Grecian look. It’s okay, I think the ginormous oversized necklace/dress straps are a little much but she’s done worse. Ew, Marc Anthony, one word skeletor.

(Rolling my eyes) Will Smith just arrived with his son. I loved Fresh Price of Bel-Air, I really did, but I hate his serious “acting”. Honestly I didn’t see Pursuit of Happyness (and not just because the “creative” spelling pisses me off) but I am pretty sure I’d rather watch Independence Day and a Fresh Price marathon before I’d want to watch Happyness. And now is not the time, but sometime I should discuss his wife and her “heavy metal” band and how they were on Ozzfest one year.

Vintage Cartier is just gorgeous. Rachel Weisz (left) is wearing Vera Wang, very nice, a little too much jewelry, but gorgeous.

Jennifer Hudson looks ridiculous, I hope she is planning on taking the metallic snakeskin cropped jacket/shrug thing off. I think it seems like the dress underneath looks okay, but it is hard to tell.

Jessica Beil, oh how you have grown and left Mary Camden behind. I still think your skills might be a little weak but you’re cute and usually dress well.







Penelope Cruz, I'm sorry, I think you are one the most over-rated actresses AND I don't understand who these people are who keep talking about how beautiful you are, I just don't see it.

HOLY CHRIST, John Travolta, my friend, that is the worst hairpiece you have ever worn (not in a film).

Um. Hello? ABC? Your picture has been black for about four minutes…

Whatever, so now we have to suffer (or change the channel) for the hour long Barbara Walters pre-Oscar show.

See you in an hour.